Archive for October, 2011

strange changes, or, when the layout works don’t mess it up

October 27, 2011

mes amis–

bridesmaid duties called me to one of my favorite manhattan haunts this morning. yes, my friends. you guessed correctly. i popped into daffy’s of soho on a mission.

but what did my eyes see? a whole new store layout! and let me tell you: je n’aime pas ce nouveau layout! ca c’est terrible. the mens and womens sections are now higgledy-piggledy with fancy dresses atop and shoes on the basement level. quel horreur!

not to mention the lingerie section. in the days of my youth (..that is, all of five months ago..) it sat tucked into the far back right corner of the netherlevel, leaving one free to amble and peruse all sort of sundry items. not to mention salacious! in short, one could blush in private.

now, the section lies front and center next to the dressing rooms…open for all to see as you search for your size or your color palette  (or perhaps that of your bosom friend who is a bride-to-be). hmmph!

i hoped, upon nettlesome navigations, that i might find a new bounty of felina, la cosa and mary green but au contraire! there was a true dearth. nevertheless, my sleuthing skills did unearth some gems and i look forward to traveling to the breadbasket of gli stati uniti to enjoy gluten free pasta, a ceremony of love and perhaps–if i am lucky–a couple rounds of bite the bag.

ciao for now!

ps the riot in oakland is very distressing… but for today all i could deal with penning was stuff of daffys. next time i will address serious topics!




“here you go” … lost and now found

October 19, 2011

mes amis,

fascinating news.

british sitcom here you go was thought to have gone missing after the the pilot episode aired March 17 1974. apparently the episode was considered so bad and in such lewd artistic taste, that a small riot in bollingsworth ensured. (it is purported that the general store owner stamped his foot and called it hooey while the town clerk let loose on a cow riding the cow around town and calling out “woah there ding dong sally”.) authorities moved to curtail any further showings of the series out of concern for public safety. all episodes from season one were thought to have been destroyed.

until recently.

an estate sale in bollingsworth, the same town where the riot of ’74 occurred, tells a different tale. sally mather, an 84 year old life long resident of bollingsworth says she has “no idea” how a copy landed in her possession but locals do call her a witch.

here you go chronicles the misadventures of two deranged sisters who seem to have stepped out of a grey gardens gone wild. they help out with local art projects. one of them dates the town bum while the other is a self-proclaimed spinster, and the two get up to all kinds of mischief in this romping tale of well intentions gone dreadfully awry. it is believed that here you go was some kind of commentary on britian in the 1970s but watching the series today proves it is nothing short of spineless drivel. albeit very entertaining drivel at that.

here is an image from the pilot episode entitled “spray day.”


arm yarn

October 13, 2011

my friends,

remember this?

the gum was terrible, but the packaging was so darn cute and there were little fake tattoos, jokes, fun facts, and riddles to uncover on the wrapper.

well guess what. fruit stripes still exist! and so do les faux tats.

regardez ici!

no, the person whose arm appears here is not anemic, she is just a paley! (not a palin) phew. allora. if you go see the seagull (thinking of you) tomorrow at preylewd you just may see such an arm. but you didn’t hear it from me!

a bien-toot!

photo by mike d



yom kippy

October 7, 2011

good afternoon fellow earthlings,

today is yom kippur for some. but it is yom kippy for me! now obviously, pour moi, every day is yum kippy. on yom kippy, however, i atone and repent and think of my lesser deeds, much like my brethren who observe yom kippur. om, yom, shanti and kippy. good fast to those who are observing.



allora, last night i saw the divine 3 2’s: or afar at dixon place by the spelndiferous mr swellman. it was a fine evening of theatre but i don’t know if the playwright was aware that his title riffs on the 2010 belarus eurovision entry!

lastly i share with you this popular meme i saw a lot on facebook today.

dude’s got a point!

peut etre ce soir i will mosey on down to wall street to obverse the occupiers and try to feel a connection to my homeland and its people. i hope the occupiers know that “occupy” has almost militaristic connotations. no one’s doing my laundry…zing!


stealing is good

October 6, 2011

my friends and fellow country citizens–

in triumph of the nerds steve jobs said “good artists copy, great artists steal.”

steve jobs


i am more familiar with the phrase, “good poets borrow, great poets steal.”

get wasted, or ts eliot. the wasteland

nevertheless, it can be concluded that stealing is good!

as some of you may know, i dabble in the realm of playwriting from time to time. my master professor and sensei (先生) often tells me, while i toil away on an assignment, to steal something i like from a great play i am reading. it is not terrible advice.

then again said sensei has informed me and other studenti to write as if we are aliens, or rather, to write as if we are explaining human life to aliens. that’s a good one too.

creppy alien!


it’s a shame i am suffering from writers block but surely worse maladies exist!

lastly, steve jobs invented really cool things. what a genie. rip.

ciao for now,


occupy this (or, coffee soirees)

October 5, 2011

my friends and fellow citizens,

can you believe this hullabaloo about occupy wall street? when i heard about it, i thought, ‘ooh, how quaint.’ but then today i logged on to that nefarious web of social doom (facebook) only to see that people are doing the laundry of smelly occupiers on wall street. hmph! i am rather amused. let them have their coffee soiree. at least the tea party clan knows when to send for dry cleaning!

and speaking of that nefarious web of social doom, i will now post the two most amusing things i saw on it today. after all, no one cares about content anymore, just retwatting! everyone seemed to have this one:

how d’do! you go, girl.

this one, however, i only spotted once:

the wit who put this as a status quipped “i can’t handel it!”

i would say “no, he Kant!” ho ho ho. i can already hear eager questioners asking, “who, kippy? who posted such a clever photo? will you reveal his or her name?”

all i can say in response is that i keep my friends close and the identities of my facebook pals private. zing!

that’s all for now.

the block is bad

October 4, 2011

mes amis–

i write in duress. that is to say, i am suffering from a severe bout of writers block. aiutami! help!

or if you prefer:

at least i am consuming episode upon episode of louie. mama mia. what a show! i didn’t know a show could be like that! is watching louie spurring more block or is it just alleviating the pains of procrastination? i don’t know if an answer exists, but i am willing to entertain guesses. perhaps if i plead hard enough louie himself will answer.

doubt it.

quoi d’autre? had a very inspiring visit to the invisible dog friday evening. the art people were out in abundance and despite the driving rain theatre–in the form of readings–was m

in other news, i am desperately trying to be a real adult. i even went grocery shopping today and bought gum. ooh the pains of consumer choices! ooh living!

very earnestly yours,