toilet time, mean extreamists, and upcoming travels

mes amis—

a quick missive on this monday.

toilet time flushed. someone passed out from heat exhaustion. and the wine was warm. otherwise, the banana bag and bodice benefit (or bennie as i like to say) was  a grandiose success. i wish those cute toots all the success in the world as they travel across the atlantic this summer!

speaking of across the atlantic, i am so deeply saddened by the ongoings in norway and the passing of ms winehouse. the guardian had some very interesting articles and blog postings about what happened in oslo. and npr had a very shrewd report this morning about the rise of far right extremist parties as predicted in the crime fictions of stieg larsson.

if only we could all be aristotelian and reasonable! let’s be done with fundamentalisms of all stripes, shall we? and yet, i suppose i am being “intolerant” by not tolerating intolerance. what a kippy-conundrum! the dog bites its own tail.

quoi d’autre? i am greatly looking forward to some time spent on governor’s island later this week. it’s a poor man’s paradise, you know. it’s only a 7-minute ferry ride from manhattan but feels worlds away. then a trip to california to reunite with old bosom friends and to celebrate the matrimony of two young lovers.

but perhaps most important: i dream of corporation beach. cape cod is no saint tropez. accuse it of being prosaic or without style. it may be quotidian  and full of boston accents, but i love it dearly and will defend it to the dirt.

ciao for now,
kippy

ps. if you haven’t heard about of a kind’s fiction contest, now you have!

toilet time, the us post office, and other ruminations

my friends and felllow citizens,

prepare yourself for toilet time at the banana bag & bodice benefit tomorrow evening at 8pm at abrons art center. i have heard that toilet time will “drop” (wink!) around 8:40pm. be there or be a (toilet paper) square.

yesterday i had to laugh. as i finished mailing an item in a square envelope (extra postage needed) the troll-like post master who had helped me gurgled forth, “thank you for using the us postal service. have a nice day.”

i wanted to reply, “with whom else would i do business?!” i didn’t want to be rude though, and kept my amusement to myself. i still recall the days when letter cost just a quarter of a dollar. my how times have changed. isn’t it a shame that postal mail will one day be obsolete? while i quite like an electronic missive, the handwritten letter is dear and endearing and this kippy hopes: enduring!

an old salt reminded me of some former wisdom i spewed on a comedy blog. this is a kippy’s greatest hits moment:

“First of all: extricate yourself from that Not-For-Profit! They are named that way for a reason…as neither your bank account nor your soul will prosper. Both will be trim and slim! Though the great Kate Moss once said, “Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels,” I always say your soul should be plump as a dump! (And if your bank is just as zaftig, va bene. It’s nice to not feel destitute, n’est pas?)”

don’t melt out there,
kippy

on these blustery mornings

mes amis,

today may be hazy and humid…
but alice walker said it best
with her poem “these mornings of rain”

These mornings of rain
when the house is cozy
and the phone doesn’t ring
and I am alone
though snug
in my daughter’s
fire-red robe

These mornings of rain
when my lover’s large socks
cushion my chilly feet
and meditation
has made me one
with the pine tree
outside my door

These mornings of rain
when all noises coming
from the street
have a slippery sound
and the wind whistles
and I have had my cup
of green tea

These mornings
in Fall
when I have slept late
and dreamed
of people I like
in places where we’re
obviously on vacation

These mornings
I do not need
my beloveds’ arms about me
until much later
in the day.

I do not need food
I do not need the postperson
I do not need my best friend
to call me
with the latest
on the invasion of Grenada
and her life

I do not need anything.

To be warm, to be dry,
to be writing poems again
(after months of distraction
and emptiness!),
to love and be loved
in absentia
is joy enough for me.

On these blustery mornings
in a city
that could be wet
from my kisses
I need nothing else.

And then again,
I need it all.

thank you alice, for your beautiful and inspiring words of poetry. on these hot and hazy mornings, this kippy needs it all! or maybe i only need 80%. 80% of what you ask?? why, everything, of course! anyway my friends. please say your pagan prayers and cross you nail-bitten fingers.

per aspera ad astra! (through difficulties to the stars!)

kippy

remember when things were built to last?

my friends and fellow citizens,

remember when things were built to last? only just now did i read the message i have been spotting on my browser for the last few weeks. something about an update for mozilla firefox. ok, i think, va bene. i will upgrade if it means smoother sailing.

click! and then what do my eyes see? a message that reads “the new version of firefox gonzilla is incompatible with your current operating system.” … quoi?! incompatible?? usually personalities are incompatible but not operating systems! rudine. i am flummoxed to the flim flam. i have only bought this mac apple book in 2006. why must it play tricks on me now?

why can’t these machines be built to last? surely our forefathers and mothers would have a grave reckoning over the wear-it-once clothing and throw-away-furniture that dominates our bodies and living spaces. and that’s not all. last night i was watching my new favorite serial series while eating cereal. the it crowd. such hilarity! such endearing actors and genie set ups. and then what do my eyes spy? a frozen screen capture of some contorted face … but the sound keeps playing. thus throwing off the timing of the joke! i will admit, for a moment i felt appreciative that i do not suffer from blindness… but still. hmph!

i hear the new airbook will be out soon. but is that what i really want? more important: is that what this kippy really needs? though i tout a life of glamor, i will never betray my spend thrift roots which were honed at such new england stores as the christmas tree, benny’s, and ocean state job lot!

mes amis, there is so much more i want to say. just now, before penning this pondering, i was on the phone with a friend, colleague, and part-time lover (!) discussing various projects and plans. anyhoozle, he is off in zambia living the life of riley. there was so much more i wanted to go over and poetry that needed voicing, but he was being called to supper by some spring chicken. a young temptress to be sure! ‘ok, bye!’ i called out before clicking hang up. later i received a stern sms telling me not to cut conversations short. harrumph! i disagree entirely.

this got me thinking back to a conversation i had many years ago with a childhood friend who understood exactly this irksome conundrum of ending a phone call. quite simply: the wind up (or wind down) at the end of a phone chit chat, discourse, or dialogue is very often superfluous. especially with good friends and loved ones. do proper people who are pals really need such pleseantries of ‘ok…well…i should really get going…’ (and always with a modicum of pity in the voice)???

to which the other person responds, ‘oh, ok… yeah me too…’ (with such usual fake sounding apology ..??) ((no! it is  intolerable!)) after which follows more mostly meaningless chatter….???

‘oooh wait, did you hear about that person we aren’t really friends with…??’
‘noooo, whaaaat???’
[grrrr!]

instead intimates should tell each other: ‘ok, end of conversation!’ to which the other may reply, ‘end of conversation!’ … thus marking the end of a conversation. it can be friendly and efficient. if you are really friends or family surely you will understand. i am certain the world would be a better place for it.

upcoming kippy topics include bag-free super markets and how much space your junk really needs in your trunks. so stay tuned!

a bientutti frutti,
kippy

ps sad news: the first performance of toilet time , slated for july 21, has been canceled due to the fact that the venue, royal oak, has closed. sad times in the comedy world. i know i could use a laugh. wacka wacka.

awed (and odd!) and other tid bits

mes amis,

i have been decidedly spotty in my missives lately. my apologies. first an artful video sent to me from an old salt on cape cod.

second: did you know odd day has come and gone?  today (well, yesterday when this was drafted) seems rather odd too but the importance is to have three consecutive odd numbers. happens only 6 times a century!

for those of you who didn’t know, last week was belly dance week in nueva york. how d’do! i find most bellies are not worth exposing and am always amazed by the brave souls who bare their midriffs. one must be toned, tanned and plucky to illicit such exposures! not to mention to pull those moves! thank goodness that the baby doll tees of the mid-90s are over. hmph!

(i could not find one suitable ugly photo from the mid-90s so opted for this desert delight. where is her audience i wonder!)

other tid bits: did you know that iceland might be making le sigarette prescription only? doctor! where are my smokes? che stranno.

also: prepare yourself. there are some upcoming projects i am involved with. i will be line producing an art film called my homeless boyfriend. another is a monologue performed by likes of a downtown performer. it is a study in scatology. i believe the working title is toilet time. we shall see … and smell!

ciao for now,
kippy

liber-tea, icecream, freedom!

my friends and fellow citizens,

as we enter into this holiday weekend, i wonder how many people will fare il ponte. or, “make the bridge” as they say in the land-shaped-like-a-boot (cioe: l’italia). when you fare il ponte, you make a bridge to include extra an holiday day. and who doesn’t enjoy holidays? i certainly do.

i also enjoy bacon…and apparently so do the libertarians! just look at what they were snacking on at the 2011 porcupine freedom festival in lacaster, nh!

imagine how a table must groan under the caloric-weight of such a bacon blanket! tasty indeed.

but we must be careful with bacon.

i recall in my youth being at a summer camp breakfast table when a particularly prickly camper asked my friends and i to pass the bacon basket.

we said, “sure, but there is no bacon left.” (it had been eaten.)

she repeated her request, growling: “pass me the bacon.”

we obliged.

to our horror, the prickly camper took her hand (or paw as the case may have been) and smeared it around the plastic bowl that had previously contained the now-consumed bacon. all that was left was spackle, grease, and fat.

the prickly camper held up her grease-smothered hand for us all to see. like a beacon of light, it shined with bacon bits and grease just for a moment before the prickly camper proudly licked it off her hand.

never before and never since have i see such a thing!

anyhoo, npr did an excellent story on the libertarian festival. i hope to attend next year as an observer…!

speaking of tasty treats: did you know that july is national icecream month? i did not. thank you president regan!

ciao for now,
kippy

ps some have called me the andy horowitz of the web. correction: i am the andy rooney of the net! (get the net.)

pps i quite enjoyed this article about if americans are lazy or not.