un certo conferenza teatrale (artlog #4)

Mes amis—

Greetings from the land of beans…where there are as many toots as there are legumes! Allora, it is rare for me to report on certain things but today I simple respond to the plaintive cries of fans asking for cutting edge reportage of the Teatrino Communicazione Gruppo Conferenza!

And so it began… with a Chatty Kathy on the Bolt Bus sitting next to moi Wednesday morning. Yes, my friends, this Kippy didn’t take a train—nor a horse drawn pavilion—but an 11 dollar bus driven by a sour puss named Deborah.

“Ah-right. I g-oughtta take care-ah this guy whose goin’ crazee!” Deborah cried out to terrified passengers as a customer, who resembled a geologist, made virulent complaints. He was being forced to stand at the end of the standby line even though he had a ticket. “I have a reservation!” he wailed, flapping his pale wings and stamping a Teva-clad foot. “Buddy you arrived after the depahrture time. I’m n-ought being unfair!” Deborah retorted.

And so we rolled, the Chatty Kathy next to me regaling her youth spent working in the far East.

And so it was with great delight I returned to my home city. One of many home cities I should say, for I am an incorrigible citzen of the world! In my salad days, I do believe I attended a prom in the Boston Park Plaza hotel, official hotel of the Red Sox, which is where this conferenza is conferencing!

more ubiquitous than beans

Wednesday night, after some drawn out administrative announcements, this Kippy found herself sipping an iced tea with pals and enjoying a gluten free feast at Legal Seafoods. It felt positively illeagle!

Speaking of eagles, I have spotted few fellow eagles of the Boston College persuasion. Then again I should just look for a conventionally dressed white person. Ooh wait, that’s most preppy people in the Bean!

unpop that collar!

A prickly-yet-at-times-palatable oration was delivered by a fellow from Woolly Monmouth. He opined on the need to innovate in the theatre and asked whose job that might be. Theatre is really good in Eastern Europe, he pointed out, and that is where the directors rule the school and innovate with each theatrical oevre. Yawn and snore. Tell me something I didn’t know! In America we have an Aristotelian playwright as ruler—though, as my scribe friends can tell me—this is hardly the case! Instead, playwrights in the U.S. are subjected to a nanny state of tyranny, forced to go through endless (and pointless) cycles of development (I prefer a bicycle, fyi) and submit to silly “best intention” decision making by artistic leaders. But I editorialize.

This fellow went on to posit that theatre folk should approach projects more holistically with designers and actors being involved from the get go. A fine idea…when it actually happens! He decried the 4 week rehearsal project—no surprise there. I wanted to offer, “Sometimes the 4 hour rehearsal process is best!” but opted to keep my pie hole shut. As I bit my tongue, sitting in the Imperial Room with its ornate rug and rapt audience, I wondered which artistic leaders would act on any of this speech’s advise.

It is good to have such a speech, which incidentally largely ignored scrappy and not-so-scrappy ensembles who develop and devise work together over short and long periods of time. No mention of Porcine Irondales, the Squad–I mean TEAM–the Wooster Street Gang, Elevator Operator Repair Service and countless unnamable others… Not a single mention!

It seemed perhaps there were many former actors in the audience, furrowing brows, nodding attentively and seeming to be taking in the advice to innovate and make proper ensemble work. Let’s see if any one actually does.

I’m off to day two now and have some hard boiled eggs in my midst.

A presto!


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